Thanks to everyone who answered my question last week. I asked, “What comes to mind when you hear the question: Do you drink pop?”
If you ask me that question, I think of Pepsi. You might think of Sprite or Diet Coke. If I ask you, “Would you like a pop to drink?” and you say yes, I would be grossly wrong to assume that you must want a Pepsi. Why? Pop comes in many flavors.
One of my pet peeves about the family ministry buzz is that too many pastors have narrowed the definition. They assume that pop means Pepsi. I had a guy email me a few weeks ago and ask me if my church has a family ministry. I asked him what he meant. His response? “Do you have a service for the children and their parents on Sunday morning?” Why have some narrowed the definition of family ministry to an hour on Sunday morning?
In the next issue of K! Magazine, I asked Reggie Joiner (creator of reThink / Orange) to write an article on this very issue. I asked him to clear up the family ministry confusion. He agreed. You will find this article helpful as you try to help the families in your church and community.
Family ministry is so much more than a big building, a new worship service or a pastor with a door plate that says, “Family Pastor”. While family ministry can (and often does) include these, they do not define it.
Soda comes in a zillion flavors - ministering to families can too. That’s the way I see it.
I would agree with the writer of the blog, “Do you drink pop” Just as there isn’t a cookie cutter children’s ministry format, what works in one city or one part of the country, doesn’t mean it will work in another part church. Family ministry would be the same way. The important thing for churches to realize is, we must be intentional on ministering to families. Research and strategists are telling us that young families are returning to the church to teach their children spiritual values. What an incredible opportunity for children’s ministry! So maybe the question should be, “are you intentional in your children’s ministry about family ministry?”
I totally agree with what you are saying. Our children’s staff fully believes in Family Ministry, but when we talk about it with our senior staff they put their walls up because they think we are trying to start a Family Service. We aren’t (not yet anyways), we just are trying to get them on the page of seeing the need for Family Ministry in whatever capacity we deem is needed for our church. This narrow definition of Family Ministry has created huge hurdles for us to overcome with our Pastor. We have to use different verbage other than Family Ministry to be heard. Can’t wait to read Reggie’s article.
Well Ryan well put. I recently started studying “Family Ministry” due to a book that was given to me it’s called Take it Home by Mark Holmen. It’s based on the book called Faith Begins at Home by Mark Holmen. I can’t wait for the article in the K Magazine.
Thanks for the great analogy, Ryan! I just spoke on Family Ministry at a LIQUID gathering and could have used your pop illustration. Our definition of Family Ministry is “encouraging and equiping parents to raise their children to be followers of Jesus, committed to a life long pursuit of loving God and loving people.” We say nothing about the method, although we have one, because each local church culture is unique. Our philosphy of Family Ministry was developed through a lot of research, including Mark Holmen’s writings. There is no one size fits all Children’s Ministry, so why should there be a one size fits all Family Ministry? I’d encourage anyone who is looking into Family Ministry to do their homework - beginning with prayer - before launching anything. Thanks for contributing to the conversation!
i enjoy reading the articles for new insight, to the different challenges in the ministries, the family ministries in our church is to get our kids to take the gospel to their parents aswell to other kids. we have a large number of kids who come to whorship, but are not supported by their families. the family support has die died in many communities and needs rebuilt , especially with christ in our lives.
If you asked this question to anyone here in New York…they would give you a blank stare…and then ask…”What is pop?” It’s soda here on the east coast.
Family Ministry in our Long Island church hasn’t caught up to ministry across the country. You would think in one of the most progressive cities in the world, NY would be at the top of the game. Not necessarily so. From my vantage point, the churches have been in a time warp, or so it seems. The old church mentality is slowly fading and the “world mentality” has crept in. Life is lived at a very fast pace and usually there is no time for church related functions…or, if parents can use them as “free babysitting”, their kids will be there!
Our challenge is to create, with God’s help, a desire to grow, to know God, to have passion for the things of God and to basically…get a bible and start to read it. This has been my greatest challenge in the past 2 years.
Many within our congregation have not grown up in the church or have come from the strict Italian or Spanish church background. Family is everything but not to be associated with the church. That is something they do for a short amount of time once a week. We have muslim, hindu and jewish children rubbing shoulders with our kids in public schools every day. We are looking for ways to reach these families with what attracts them.
So, where do you start? This is a mission field on a completely different plain. Building relationships and trust with kids and their parents has been a first step.
What bothers me about “Family Ministry” is that it usually falls under Children’s Ministry. Just because the family includes children, it’s automatically up to the Children’s Ministry to run a family ministry. A family is also made up of adults, teenagers, grandparents etc and therefore should be a church-wide ministry and goal. Family Mnistry doesn’t need to be a seperate ministry or something run by the children’s ministry. It should be something that all of the ministries of the church work together to provide.
I know this will probably be cleared up in the article, but I have a “can of worms” question… How can we have “age-appropriate” teaching as well as provide ample time and resources for “family ministry”? I think it really comes back to what parents are spiritually teaching in the home. So then the question becomes, how do we inspire that? There’s gotta be a book on that somewhere (haha, there’s always a book!). For the record: I like pop a lot, and I absolutely love people! hj.
Great post and followup comments. This is the very thing I am wrestling with this year as I try to help my local church move forward in ministry effectiveness to our parishioners and our culture.
Heather I started to read a book called Take it Home by Mark Holmen. It’s basally a book on how to start family ministries.
I also agree with Miss C. We have to talk about family ministry in words and ways that make sense to those around us. We have to ask the right questions to find out where people are at and then inspire them to the next step. What do you call a family serving together in the preschool department? What do you call an elderly couple spending the day with a young family? A weekend camp for families? Pop? Soda? Diet? Regular? I know that I am addicted both to coke (as we californians call it) and families transforming into Christ followers together.
Thanks for the excellent post! I have found that most attempts at providing support for family ministry seems to be narrow minded. It assumes that the family is made up of a loving Dad, Mom with eager support from both. I may be out of the box a bit but this is not the case with 40 percent of our familes. We come from broken families, or part of the family is in a different country (refugee) or one of the parents is not supportive. I believe that it is our goal to have functional families surving God together however if we are not relevant to the situations at hand how effective can we be.
I’m late getting in on this (just catching up after a busy summer). All the posts hit home. In my church the term “family ministry” seems to scare people off of being on a committee. Or, we get people who have all talk but no walk. I guess I need to get Holmen’s book and start from scratch.